Small Oomphs

“Earth is so thick with divine possibility that it is a wonder we can walk anywhere without cracking our shins on altars.” – Barbara Brown Taylor


In many traditions, sacraments are the means by which God’s saving grace is poured out: baptism, communion, and Scripture. For some, they also include marriage, confession, ordination, and anointing the sick. These acts are official, sacred, and ritualised. They are meant to tether us to the divine.

But for many of us, church has lost its oomph.

We’re between churches, clinging by a thread, or slowly, quietly slipping out the side door, trying to find God, ourselves, and the world again. We’re not hostile; we’re just tired. Church has become a place of confusion—a lifeless Christianity where we feel like we’re always doing something wrong. We get into trouble when we go, and we get into trouble when we don’t.

And so we drift. Or maybe… we walk.

I see you — not lost, but loosed,
from pew and creed, from tight-bound truths.
Your prayers now rise through silent skies,
no hymnal hand to harmonise.

You carry ash where fire once burned,
a sacred ache in lessons unlearned.
And still, you bless the broken road,
each doubt a stone, each step a psalm.

No steeple shadows where you stand,
yet grace still gathers in your hands.
You’re not alone in holy strife —
this, too, is part of a faithful life.


And yet, grace is not confined to altar rails or sanctuary walls. Sometimes, it greets us in the smallest of things — the steam rising from a morning coffee, the comfort of a well-worn novel, the warmth of soup shared on a cold day. These aren’t just distractions or creature comforts. They can be sacraments too, if we have eyes to see.

1 Corinthians 10:31 — “So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.”

To make a cup of coffee with care, to read a story that stirs your soul, to laugh at the dinner table with someone you love — these are not lesser spiritual moments. They are the liturgies of the everyday, the sacred stitched into the ordinary. In these acts, God is not distant. He is here, humming quietly beneath the noise, waiting to be noticed.

Psalm 19:1–3“The heavens declare the glory of God… day after day they pour forth speech; night after night they reveal knowledge. They have no speech… yet their voice goes out into all the earth.

In these wandering years, it’s easy to feel the absence of God — to feel the numbness, the long ache. It might take years before you feel whole again, before you even consider walking into a church.

Maybe you never will.

But as you walk the broken road, remember—

“Taste and see that the Lord is good.” (Psalm 34:8)

Even here.
Even now.

In the small things.

The Long Night

Sheol saw me and was shattered, and Death ejected me and many with me. I measured its depth and I was not held captive, for I became a light to those who were in its depths.”

– (Ode 42)

He walked the long night

where no prayers reach,

where silence is thicker than stone.

Sheol held its breath.

The tomb was not still—

it trembled.

He wore no armor

but the memory of light.

He sang no song

but still the gates cracked.

One by one

He called the names of the forgotten.

Dust stirred.

Chains rusted.

Even Death blinked and turned

its face away,

unable to hold Him

who had measured its depth

and found it shallow.

– (a poem I wrote inspired by Ode) The Long Night

Unbuilding

Do you believe in God? I used to answer quickly.

Now, I pause —

not out of rebellion, but reverence.

I dismantle doctrines like old furniture,

finding splinters of truth and tradition embedded in my hands.

The creeds I once recited now echo with questions, each word a doorway to deeper understanding or further doubt.

In the quiet morning, amidst the smell of roasted coffee, I find sacredness in the mundane, grace in the unspoken.

Scripture pages worn thin from searching, not for answers, but for the presence that lingers between lines.

I am both the builder and the ruins, the seeker and the found.

Do you believe in God? I still ask, not seeking certainty, but connection.

Every Church Needs a Nerdy Mystic

I once heard Tim Mackie from the Bible Project say that every (local) church needs a bible nerd. I couldn’t agree more. I’ve been a Christian for over a decade and around several churches. Usually, a church falls into one of two categories. They’re either highly focused on worship songs and emotionally connecting to God via the Spirit (both good things), or they’re so Scripture-focused (preaching and teaching the Bible) that Christianity becomes an intellectual ascent to a set of doctrines (again – doctrine is a great thing – I have a degree in it). The problem is that without the Scriptures shaping the local church, it becomes chaotic, messy, and unhinged. Without prayer, music, emotions, and practising the presence of God, the church becomes stale, another club to belong to, and lacks life. I will never go to another church that preaches well but never lingers in God’s presence. I will never go to a church that throws out the Book in favour of fever and emotionalism. Getting the balance right is, of course, challenging. We’re not perfect. But if I have to listen to another TED talk at church just because they have better music, I may as well stay home. If I have to endure another 1-2 hrs of dreariness to hear people take the teaching of Scripture seriously, I may as well listen to podcasts and throw on some Hillsong. Why can’t we have the best of both worlds? Why can’t we have excellent bible teaching (not just surface-level rubbish – meaty, juicy, heartfelt teaching of Scripture), great music, prayer, emotional responses, and God’s presence? Well, maybe every church needs a nerdy mystic (a scary word, I know).

A bible nerd mystic: noun – a person who froths and geeks out over Scripture while lingering in God’s presence and embracing the mystery and transcendence.

It seems that the Bible’s people had the best of both worlds:

Moses was a mystic and loved to teach. He performed miracles (Exodus 4:3-4, 6-7, 30; 7:14-25; 8-12; 14:21-31; 15:22-25; 17:1-13; Numbers 12:13-15; 16:44-50), he taught Torah (Exodus 18:20; 24:3-4; Deuteronomy 4:1-2; 5:1; 6:1-9; 31:9-13), and he frequently spends time in the presence of God (Exodus 3:1-6; 24:12-18; 33:7-11; 34:28).

Jesus was both a massive Bible nerd and a mystic (Jesus is God, so that’s kinda cheating). On the one hand, he went around healing people (Matthew 8:2-3, 5-13, 14-15; 9:20-22, 27-31; 12:9-13) and casting out demons (Luke 4:33-37, 41; 8:2, 26-39). We have Jesus going into the wilderness (Mattew 4:1-11) and into isolated places in nature to recalibrate and pray (Matthew 14:13, Mark 6:31-32, Luke 6:12, John 6:15), and even situations where Jesus hears the voice of God (Matthew 3:16-17; 17:5 John12:28-30). Yet, on the other hand, we have Jesus the rabbi clearly nerding out over Scripture and interpreting it (Matthew 4:4, 7, 10; 21:13; 22:37-40; Luke 4:18-19) and teaching people around him (Matthew 5-7; 13:1-9; Mark 1:21-22; 4:1-2; 6:34; Luke 5:3).

Paul had a list of similar experiences. He healed (Acts 14:8-10; 19:11-12; 20:9-12; 28:8-9) and cast out demons (Acts 16:16-18). He went into the wilderness to recalibrate his thinking (Galatians 1:17-18) and had mystical experiences and visions hearing God’s voice (Acts 9:3-6; 22:17-21; 23:11; 2 Corinthians 12:2-4). Yet Paul still taught the scriptures (Acts 17:2-3; 18:4-5; 19:8-10; 20:7-12) and thought they were important enough for others to continue teaching (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

We don’t need to trade one for the other. Our churches should be filled with a sense of both worlds. We can have the tangible expressions of God’s presence and the deep meat of teaching the Scriptures. One should only be happening with the other, yet they often don’t.

(A Reflection on) The Theology of Lingering

Dallas Willard once said, “hurry is the great enemy of the spiritual life in our day.” I remember years ago listening to a podcast by Rob Bell, who talked about how we’ve lost the ability just to be bored. John Mark Comer argues that we must ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives. Every generation says this, but life isn’t the same as it used to be. Our weeks are filled with to-do lists, meetings, and appointments. We work forty-hour weeks (if you’re lucky), we try to eat right and stay healthy, go home, look after the kids, clean the house, go to church, try to catch up with that friend for coffee or lunch, meet your spouses needs, listen to that podcast, read that blog (the irony is not lost on me), catch up with the latest social media news, video, tweet, or reel. We study, try to improve our skill set, and bring work home with us (because there is rarely enough time to do your job in a 9-5), which is what it means to be a functioning human being in 2024.

In the 90s and early 2000s, I felt like imagination was king. Boredom drove me to creativity. I couldn’t mindlessly flick through reels of videos, watch people playing Fortnight, or throw on a podcast (all things I love, by the way). Instead, a rock or a piece of clay became a fossil. The front trees and gardens became hideouts for me to store waterbombs and hide from the other kids on the street. I used to write my name in Egyptian hieroglyphics (not very well, mind you). I used to spend time with my mum. We talked—a lot. I remember my first-ever coffee (a mocha with whipped cream on top) and trips to Wet n’ Wild. I remember going to my Nannas house on holidays and playing cricket in the street with my Dad. Going to the beach or doing road trips always seemed convenient and easy. Nowadays, travelling more than half an hour gets the best of you. It takes work to keep focused and your attention on things that should be important to you. Unconsciously, I reach for my phone to see if I have a notification. Switching off when friends talk about something that doesn’t matter to you is so easy. It’s easy to go to church for an hour and a half a week, passively take in a sermon, half-heartedly sing a few songs and “hurry God” like He is a fast food worker and McDonald’s or something. Most of us don’t know how to slow down, rest, be bored, and linger.

In six days, God created the universe, and on the seventh, He rested, or to put it another way, he lingered, hung around, and delighted in what he had made (Genesis 1-2). The definition of lingering is to stay in a place longer than is expected or usual. It is unusual in our day and age to linger, to stay in one place and enjoy it without distraction or a “productive purpose.” When was the last time you sat, meandered, or rested while just taking in the world around you? Have you ever sighed a breath of relief and just lingered on what you have already accomplished (no matter how seemingly insignificant)? When have you last just plodded around in the messiness of your space and just delighted in your stage of life? I love that God rests. He didn’t need to. God doesn’t have a cap on His capacity. He wasn’t taking the day off because he was tired. He rested and lingered and delighted in his creation because (I believe) He brought him joy.

Fast forward in the story, and in the Exodus, we have Israel enslaved and forced to work every day. They were the peak of productivity. Their worth was weighed in the bricks they made and the work they did. Israelite identity became so entrenched in their slavery that even when they had been freed, they longed to return to it (Exodus 16:3). What I find funny is that the Jews wanted to go back into slavery even while having God’s tangible presence with them in the wilderness (Exodus 13:21). Even after they got into the promised land, established a kingdom and a temple with God dwelling among his chosen people, they still worshipped other gods. Israel forgot to dwell with God and linger in his presence. Though God wasn’t far from any of them, they never stopped and experienced his presence in any intimate and authentic way. I wonder how different history might have been had Adan and Eve lingered with God in the Garden, if the Jews lingered with God in the wilderness, or dwelt with him more intimately in the temple. How different might things have been if the disciples lingered with Jesus? Rather than expecting things from him, they were just with him. Maybe they would have seen Jesus as the messiah he was instead of what they expected him to be.

And this is the problem. We expect God to be something or someone he doesn’t want to be. Just like the Jews, we have theological categories (some of which are helpful) that impose expectations of God into history. God heals. Therefore, whenever I pray, he heals. Except he doesn’t. God is in control. Therefore, everything must work according to his will, except life is chaotic and challenging, and it rarely feels like God is in control. God is love. Yet he often feels distant. God is wrathful. Yet evil always seems to prevail. These categories came to me through books and podcasts, not God himself (though, of course, these are things God can use). These things are true, but I don’t always know it.

In Celtic spirituality, thresholds are seen as a line between one space and the next, one time and another. I’m not just talking about the threshold between your bedroom and the hallway; I’m talking about the thin places in our lives that God whispers and beckons us through so that we may linger, refreshed, transformed, and made new. We may need to stop and linger more often.