To be known is one of the most important things that a person can get a handle on in their life. The desire to be understood is built into our very DNA. It’s part of who we are. I’m not talking about learning a list of facts about a person. Camaron Smith, aged 31, male, likes writing, theology, video games, poetry, spiced rum and craft beer. These are facts, essential facts, because they give you small glimpses into who I am. However, to truly be known by another is a whole other level of knowledge that takes a lifetime of relationships and journeying to grasp. To me, there are four knowings one needs to embark on in life to fulfil the yearning inside of the heart (in no particular order):
- To know thy self
- To know the cosmos (the universe around us)
- To know other people and be known
- To know God
To Know Thy Self
Every man has forgotten who he is. One may understand the cosmos but never the ego; the self is more distant than any star.
G. K. Chesterton
We all know the ancient Greek maxim coined by Socrates to “know thy self.” Over the last two thousand years of human history, it seems like all we’ve been trying to do is make our mark on the world, bring meaning to our existence, and define who we are, from the great empires of the world to the religious institutions that have shaped our cultural moments (for better or worse), to the Enlightenment the industrial revolution and the Western free market. Society in the world that I live in has wrestled with what it means to be human from a buffet of different perspectives. Interestingly, today, the quest to know oneself is as prevalent as ever. With the rise of what Carl Trueman calls “expressive individualism”, the West’s desperate attempt to understand the self has spiralled out of control. The human desire to be known and to know thy self is so significant to the modern person that we’ve all lost all meaning of the self and instead have opted to identify as anything but, which, in turn, has influenced society at large and confused the masses. As Carl Trueman says
The rise of the sexual revolution was predicated on fundamental changes in how the self is understood. The self must first be psychologized; psychology must then be sexualized, and sex must be politicized.
Carl Trueman – The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self
In a world where instant gratification is the norm, so do people believe that knowing the self is something that can be worked out in a personality test, a course, a self-help book, six weeks of therapy, or a moment of “inspiration” about who they genuinely are (typically expressed in a hyper-sexual way). Any therapist worth their weight in gold, any spiritual guru from any religion will tell you that the quest to know the self takes a lot of time. I’m not talking about 12 months or three, but your entire life. There’s a reason why monks, gurus, and hermits live for years in isolation. Why? Enlightenment, truth, knowledge, and “knowing” take time. In the words of pastor John Mark Comer,
We live in a culture that is addicted to speed and instant gratification. We want everything now. We don’t want to wait. We don’t want to work hard. We don’t want to suffer. We don’t want to grow. But that’s not how God works. God works slowly. God works deeply. God works through process and time.
John Mark Comer
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was the world. It was built in six or in 1.658 trillion days (approximately), depending on what you believe. So settle in. The road to self-discovery is a long but rewarding one.
To Know the Cosmos
It seems to me that the natural world is the greatest source of excitement, the greatest source of visual beauty, the greatest source of intellectual interest. It is the greatest source of so much in life that makes life worth living.
Sir David Attenborough
The cosmos is a tricky thing to understand. Depending on your relationship with science and faith, you will make sense of the world around you differently. For some, nature is something we live in, but we’re apart from it. For others, the universe is a series of complex systems that can ultimately be understood with math and science. For me, the cosmos is something I can live in, enjoy, and get meaning from. I can understand myself, others, and the God who made me. Creation is a mirror, a glimpse, and a window into the soul of the material world. At night, when I look out at the stars, I resonate with the Psalmist, who writes, “When I behold Your heavens, the work of Your fingers, the moon and the stars, which You have set in place— what is man that You are mindful of him, or the son of man that You care for him? (Psalm 8:3-4). When I look out over the ocean, Paul comes to mind when he writes, “His invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the world’s creation, in the things that have been made. (Romans 1:20). Historically, nature has played a massive role in developing our knowledge of God and ourselves. The early church father, Basil of Caesarea, once said, “The visible things of God’s creation are like syllables or letters by which we may spell out some words concerning him.” In more modern times, Emil Bruner argued, “Natural theology is the attempt to attain an understanding of God and his will on the basis of the nature of man and his world, without reference to the special revelation of God in Christ.”
I can imagine going from place to place, seeing a waterfall, the ocean, a tree, a mountain, a person, or a valley – each “letter” of creation falls into place as the cosmos writes the greatest story ever told as we attempt to understand God and ourselves.
The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only one page.
St. Augustine
To Be Known and To Know Other People
In The Soul of Desire, psychiatrist Curt Thompson suggests that underneath all our longings is the desire to be known―and what’s more, that this fundamental yearning manifests itself in our deep need to make things of beauty, revealing who we are to others. Coupled with my therapy sessions in my attempt to know myself, what I read in Thompson’s book was the most profound idea I had heard all year. In Genesis 2:18, God says, “It is not good for the human to be alone.” Vivek Murthy, the former U.S. Surgeon General, has been raising awareness about the “loneliness epidemic” that affects millions of people around the world. He argues that loneliness is not only a personal problem but also a public health issue that can contribute to various physical and mental illnesses, such as addiction, violence, depression and anxiety. In his book Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World, he explores the causes and consequences of loneliness and offers practical solutions to cultivate more meaningful relationships in our lives. He believes that human connection is essential for our well-being and happiness and that we all have a deep desire to be known by others.
Until recently, I don’t think I’ve ever been really known by anyone, let alone myself. I’ve had knowledge of a lot of people, and I use a lot of defence mechanisms to stop myself from being known by others, but I’ve always been quite lonely and unsure of what it means to be Camaron Smith. Despite our advancements in technology and social media, despite all the self-help books, and despite the emails and instant messages, I don’t know if I’ve ever really been known or if I’ve ever truly known another person.
Our Western world has long emphasized knowledge—factual information and “proof”—over the process of being known by God and others. No wonder, then, that despite all our technological advancements and the proliferation of social media, we are more intra- and interpersonally isolated than ever. Yet it is only when we are known that we are positioned to become conduits of love. And it is love that transforms our minds, makes forgiveness possible, and weaves a community of disparate people into the tapestry of God’s family.
Curt Thompson
To Know God
To know God is to live.
Leo Tolstoy
St. Ignatius of Loyola once said, “God freely created us so that we might know, love, and serve him in this life and be happy with him forever.” The Westminister Confession of Faith asks, “What is the chief end of man?” and it answers, “Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.” To glorify God, one must enjoy Him. Enjoying God is knowing God. I don’t mean having a clear, concise doctrine of God or having your orthodoxy and theology ticked off properly. I don’t mean that we just read about Him or listen to talks and sermons on the Bible. What I mean is knowing God in the way one might know a dear friend or a life partner. John writes, “This is eternal life, that they may know You, the true God, and Jesus Christ, whom You have sent” (John17:3). The knowing that I want is the intimate knowledge one might have of God as one walks with Him in every moment of every day. This is something I need to work on a lot. It’s effortless for me to throw up defence mechanisms and push God away despite my wanting to be known by Him and my wanting to know Him. I’m afraid of what that would mean. Eternal life is this kind of intimacy with God. Why wait?
There, I greet God in my own disorder. I say hello to my chaos, my unmade decisions, my unmade bed, my desire and my trouble. I say hello to distraction and privilege, I greet the day and I greet my beloved and bewildering Jesus.
Pádraig Ó Tuama
Scribbling Theology 